I journal every morning as part of my morning routine. Paper isn’t my friend and never was. I’ve never enjoyed journaling, but it’s necessary like getting a checkup. You might get what I’m saying.

I journal to get my thoughts on paper like anyone does for the same reason. It’s better to do it that way than not to do it at all. Why am I sitting at this table and writing at six in the morning? Am I insane? Shouldn’t I be asleep right now? Maybe I should. But life doesn’t work that way. I woke up at one and then close to four in the morning before my alarm eventually went off at five in the morning. If I set my alarm for six, I could get more rest, but it doesn’t work that way as I said. I have too many worries.

My job, for instance, is a big stressor in my life. I worry about whom I have to call, and if they’re going to yell at me. I never know whom I’m going to get.

I had to watch a harassment training video yesterday brought to me by the HR department. It’s an annual compliance video they make me watch, full of bad actors who portray abusive employees at a company. The days are gone when you could date your coworkers. I guess I see the point from human resources. They want people to come to work without complications, but it doesn’t stop people from breaking the rules.

There was one scene where a transgender person posted a video on social media complaining that their coworker called them the wrong name because it was gender-specific. The training video said that what the transgender person did was right, posting the video on social media. I had to disagree. They should’ve complained to human resources instead of doing what they did, but that’s just me.

Every example, from sexual misconduct to racial insensitivity, ended up with the answer of reporting it to human resources. That was the big lesson learned through the hour-and-a-half-long video.

In one scene, a coworker told a joke involving a priest, a pregnant woman, and a Hispanic person to two other coworkers. A Hispanic lady walked by the room in the middle of the joke. The scene paused so that the voiceover person could explain that what the joke-teller was doing was wrong.

They continued the video right where the joke-teller delivered the punchline, “So the priest says, ‘What’s that speed bump doing there?'”

Everyone laughed except the Hispanic woman who walked by, rolling her eyes. I never got to hear the full joke, but speed bumps are typically funny. I laugh inside whenever I see a car hop one.

In another scene, a woman in her thirties, I would guess, showed an old man how to use the internet at work. After she helped him, she walked away and posted on social media that she was tired of helping old folks with technology and that they should retire already.

The video cut to the next scene, where the old man read what she’d posted and shook his head in offense. It was hard to believe that she would post something like that if she knew the old man followed her on there. I doubt he would’ve done anything anyway.

I felt guilty after watching it, even though I work remotely, not in the office, and I never even did anything wrong. I answered the questions to a quiz at the end of every scene correctly. They awarded me with a certificate at the end. It was painful to watch, but at least I didn’t have to do any work for an hour and a half.