I’m hardly ever late to anything. If I am, there’s a damn good reason why. Long ago I learned that tardiness upsets the bosses, upsets the teachers, upsets the doctors more than anything else. They would rather see me arrive early and fall asleep than show up late and be alert. If being fashionably late were a real thing, which it is, then consider me showing up in Crocs. I’ve been chewed out enough times in my life to know never to be late to jobs, never to be late to classes, never to be late to doctors appointments. My idea is that I could do a terrible job once I’m there, but at least I could say that I was on time.

I heard a radio host once give great advice: “Just show up.” Although he was referring to therapy or group therapy, whichever one, I think it applies to everything. I showed up. The battle is at least halfway won; the rest shall be determined. I show up to work on time every day. I show up to write every day. I show up to every appointment on time.

Yet so many people I know are consistently late. It must be in their DNA. For instance, my doctor always does this at my appointments. We schedule video meetings weeks in advance. But when the clock strikes five, and I’m already logged in to the channel, and my face is showing on the screen, and 5:01 rolls by, and 5:02, and 5:03, there’s still no sign of her. I’ve grown restless, I’ve grown frustrated, I’ve grown insulted. Why must she always do this to me?

I concluded that it was a power move: the doctor’s method of proving that we were on her time, not mine. Once, I experimented by waiting until 5:05 to check into the meeting, and when I clicked the link for the video screen to appear, and for me to see my pretty face looking back at me, lo and behold the doctor still hadn’t checked in. I had to wait until 5:06 for her. That was when I knew what she was doing. Because she was the host of the video call, she was notified of when I’d entered the meeting, so she would make me wait for her. Again, it’s a power move.

Some people might do this for anything. They show up to the parties intentionally late and leave intentionally early, maybe to give the impression that they’re too important to show up on time and stick around.

When I worked hourly, I couldn’t log in five minutes before the shift or five minutes after the shift began, or else my supervisor would write me up. The easiest thing to do is to show up on time, yet people still struggle to even do that.

I could show up early anywhere, but success has notoriously shown up late. It’s a theme. It seems whenever I achieve something, I’m already too old, the party has already ended, the folks have gone home. I’ve shown up just in time to help the host clean up. Unfortunate. Not that it’s my fault. Imagine if I’d sniffed success in my prime.

Some people, in this regard, are lucky. What about the successful ones in sports? I would rather mention the athletes who don’t win a championship until they’re well into the twilight years of their careers, if they ever win at all, the ones who are past their primes by then and half the contributors they were when they were elite. John Elway who, for years, had been known as arguably the best quarterback in the league, never won a Super Bowl until his final two years as a pro. His earlier years, at his peak, were spent carrying his team on his back only for him to come up short. Once he was past his prime, the team around him was of championship caliber, and he was the one who was merely riding along, not to say he didn’t play a vital role in their overall achievement. After all, if it weren’t for him, they wouldn’t have won the title. With all that said, he did a competent enough job but nothing close to what he did in the prime of his career. Imagine if he had the same team in his best years and how many more championships he would’ve won. People may have proclaimed him as the greatest quarterback of all time, perhaps even the greatest player of all time. It’s all timing.

I think about the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, and how he uses hockey players as an example for how time and place play a crucial role in determining success. Only a sample of players from the same town around the same period succeeded in the pros. The right place at the right time, just like the wrong place at the wrong time. Us humans can only hope to be the lucky ones before it’s too late. I always wondered why I missed the party, with no one else to blame except myself, when all I did was show up on time. That’s all I can do is show up on time.