Tag Archives: burgers

A Bear Playing a Keytar

I’ve waited several months for this day, and I can’t believe it’s finally here. Football season has begun. Goodbye to the summer. I wish it well, and may it never come back again. I hate it. There’s nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel that way, and I’ll keep feeling that way from here on out. Let the fall take over and winter to follow. I can’t wait for the cold to arrive.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop, softly gazing out a window at parked cars and other cars drifting down Adams Street in La Quinta. I want to sit here for days, even when the table is wobbly. I hate wobbly tables and chairs. They drive me nuts. It’s like a squeaky wheel on a shopping cart. It won’t stop, and it’s broken. Minor disturbances in my life, like ringing in my ears.

I’m going to sit all day and watch football with my parents before I drive back home and prepare for work tomorrow. I wish I didn’t have to work, but I’m taking a week off at the end of September, which I look forward to at least. Whatever I do doesn’t matter as long as I’m away from work and the nightmares that come with it since it has taken over my life.

I went shopping yesterday at Nordstrom Rack and bought two T-shirts and two pairs of shorts. The shorts were two colors: blue and gray, while the shirts were blue and yellow. The yellow one has a drawing of a bear with sunglasses on as he plays a keytar. The keytar was popular in the eighties when rock band players used them. I believe bands like Cheap Trick. I’m not positive, but they’re the first band that comes to mind. Either way, the shirt made me smile, which was the reason I chose it. I’m wearing it right now. I was anxious to wear it today as soon as I woke up.

After shopping, I went with my parents to a restaurant named Pacifica, where I ate a cheeseburger. The place is known for its seafood, but I don’t like it very much. It doesn’t get me excited. Don’t get me wrong. I like lobster and some crab when it’s cooked right, along with shrimp and maybe scallops if I’m in the right mood, but I’ve never been hankering for a plate of fish. It just doesn’t excite me too much. But my parents chose it after we couldn’t get a table at Tommy Bahama’s for another half hour. I knew it would happen because at that restaurant it’s always the case. We didn’t want to wait that long.

Pacifica was booked, too, so they made us sit in the bar, where the tables were slim. We could barely fit our napkins and utensils. We also sat next to a couple of old drunk ladies cackling between dialogues. One of them ate the biggest plate of steak and mashed potatoes I’d seen in a while. They shared the hugest strawberry shortcake while we waited for our orders.

Our waitress had nothing of a personality. I had a hard time choosing something to eat, not because the menu was crappy but because I was torn between the Wagyu burger and the fish and chips. I’m a burger connoisseur, so my policy is to go with the burger if I have to decide. The soda was flat while I waited. They’re always that way at a restaurant with a bar. For some reason, the sodas are always flat from the nozzle as opposed to fast food joints, where the sodas always fizz, and I never complain. The Wagyu burger made it to my top ten list of burgers of all time. The Wagyu was cooked just perfectly with gruyere cheese on top. Chefs across the world should include gruyere on burgers more often. I never thought it would be such a delectable combination.

“This place gets an A,” I told my parents. My only beef (pardon the pun) with the burger was there was too much lettuce, which was no big deal because all I had to do was pull some of it out. And the tomato was mushy. I like my tomatoes tender but just hard enough to eliminate the mushiness.

After dinner, we capped the night off with ice cream at Handel’s in Indio. My parents ordered a pint of ice cream each. Mom chose mint chip, while Dad, along with me, chose the peanut butter chocolate brownie. Except I drank a milkshake. It was going to be peanut butter ice cream alone for me, but Handel’s had decided to discontinue it, maybe because it wasn’t ordered enough.

“Most people order the basic chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla,” my father said.

And maybe he was right. People are bland and don’t take enough chances. Ice cream could be a perfect example. Kids love ice cream, but they’re never daring enough to eat a flavor like peanut butter, and I love peanut butter anything. If peanut butter were a soda flavor, I would go with that over Coca-Cola. I’m sure it would be nice.

Cheat Day

I have the proclivity to wake up and not want to get out of bed at five in the morning, but I also don’t want to stay in bed either. It’s a tug-of-war with myself on a Monday, but I made it to the coffee shop. Everything is well and good. The baristas are loading boxes of materials onto a dolly and carrying them back as I sit by the window and watch the sun rise.

I ate a lot yesterday. I started in the morning with a bacon, egg, and gouda sandwich and an iced espresso with cream and olive oil. It’s my favorite drink. Then I went for a two-hour walk after I finished reading and writing. It was 116 degrees, and I traveled by foot for almost six miles, sweating all over. When I got back to my apartment, I saw in the mirror that my shorts were drenched from heat. It looked like I had pissed myself when in reality the sweat was on the backside. I had to wash them in the evening. I drank a Big Gulp of Coca-Cola through the walk, and then I went back to the coffee shop to continue writing. I drank a berry juice to hydrate myself and another iced espresso with cream and olive oil.

I walked back home and ordered Five Guys to be delivered. Five Guys might be the best fast food burger out there, although I can’t overlook In-N-Out Burger. It has been so long since I’ve eaten a Double-Double. Their menu is so simple: a hamburger, cheeseburger, French fries, milkshake, and soda. They have a secret menu as well, and sometimes I have ordered from it. It includes animal-style fries and an animal-style burger that I believe is made with Thousand Island dressing and grilled onions, but don’t quote me on that. I’ll still go with Five Guys because of recency bias.

Anyway, I ended the night with a treat of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Sundays are my cheat day. Everyone needs to have one before they continue their week on a strict diet of limiting carbohydrates as much as they can because carbs are what make them gain weight, and no one wants that.

Today, I have to walk to the dentist to have a filling replaced, and I believe that’s it. I could spend several hours there like I did last time. I had to wait for ninety minutes just to see her. It was a nightmare, sitting in the waiting room. I had to watch daytime television, which is torture with low-budget soap operas and depressing commercials about smoking and lung cancer. They do that on purpose so people will desperately look for jobs because no one wants to see that.

But anyway, I hope the appointment goes well and hope the heat doesn’t bring me down to hell. I’ll have to finish editing my manuscript before I send it off to my editor. It’s not altogether perfect. I keep coming across loose ends in the stories because it’s a collection of shorts that all take place in the same town, and I’m just looking for inconsistencies. It helps when I’ve been editing and rewriting a gazillion times. I’m getting sick of it. Whenever a writer asks me when their stories are ready for an editor or publication, I say it’s when they’re sick of it. That always seems to ring true.

Anyway, I’m waiting for the summer to end, so it can get cool again. I keep having dreams like the one last night, where my aunt laid the ground rules for throwing a party: no alcohol, no smoking, no ESPN either. I had an argument with her about it until I woke up and was thankful it was just a dream. I run across that situation a lot after a dream. I guess that makes it a nightmare because I’m glad it was over or that it wasn’t real, but I don’t know if I should label it a nightmare, just a bad dream because Frankenstein’s monster wasn’t chasing me with scissors like he has in the past.

The Time I Had an Accident

Out here in California, we have the pleasure of In-N-Out Burger. I used to eat there a lot when I was in college.

One time, on a weekend in Garden Grove, I ate not one but two Double-Doubles. I drove my Honda CRX to Tower Records nearby to browse the rock and hip-hop sections, back when record stores still existed. They tended to help me relax from all my worries to the point where they became a natural laxative.

I suddenly had to use the bathroom, except Tower didn’t have one for customers. This wouldn’t be a short and sweet trip either. I really really had to go urgently. There was no time to stop and consider which bathroom I wanted to use. I had to go now.

So I scrambled out of the store and hurried to the first business I could find, which was a motel. The door was locked. The concierge (or whom I considered to be the concierge in a dump like that) stood behind his counter looking at me with fear.

I banged on the glass. “Sir, help. I need to use your bathroom now.”

I could read his lips. “What?”

I had to yell louder. “I said, I need to use your bathroom now.”

He shook his head and said no as if I was going to hold him at gunpoint if he opened the door.

Then I couldn’t hold it anymore. The warmth poured down my left leg. I could feel myself melting in the sun.

I wore shorts so the concierge could see what was happening, too. The look of horror on his face rivaled mine. It was too late. What was done was done. There was no use in scrambling for a bathroom then. I would have to drive back to my dorm with it down my leg.

Fullerton was about a thirty-minute drive from Garden Grove. I used a knitted blanket, which was conveniently in my car, to cover my driver’s seat and drove home with the windows down.

When I arrived at the dorm, it was a long walk to my room. Of course I was going to pass a few students.

One of them walked past me and asked, “What happened to you?”

“I fell in mud,” I said.

And then I locked the door behind me. I took a shower and changed clothes, knowing never to eat In-N-Out and browse at Tower Records again.