I sat in the waiting room of the dentist’s office early in the morning and fidgeted over mouth cancer while the office played “Jingle Bells.” To keep my mind distracted, I read post comments on Facebook. It had a writer’s group. Someone posted about a new AI technology that could critique your story. I had never used it before. Some people said it worked for them.

A hygiene assistant called my name and asked me to follow her to a room. She led the way and walked very slowly. When we got there, she asked me why I was visiting.

“I have a mouth sore that hasn’t healed for two months,” I said.

“Let me see,” she said.

I opened my mouth and showed her.

“I don’t see it,” she said.

“Your finger’s on it,” I said.

“Oh, I see it now. Please stand over here at this machine, so I can take your X-ray.”

It was a machine I had never seen. I stood in a chamber where I rested my chin. She left the room and flipped a switch several times while I wore a vest. She took pictures of the mouth sore and sent me to another room where the dentist would come.

Another hygenist came in with another.

“Good morning. I’m going to look at your teeth and gums.”

She sat over me while the other one sat at the computer monitor. The one over me checked each tooth and gave them numbers. Two and three were good. Four was bad. “Two, two, three, two, four, four, four, four…”

I began to sweat each time she said, “Four.”

When the dentist came in, she tested me for oral cancer. She held a device over my mouth. I said, “Ahh.” The device was round with blue lights and a handle. It looked like something at the checkout lane in a grocery store. I wondered how it worked. It might be outdated many years from now. She told me it didn’t find any cancers, and she didn’t even mind the sore.

After she left the room again, I waited for some time in the chair and read more Facebook. One of the group members asked if it was okay if his character complained about his wife to his friends. His son had told him it wasn’t funny. People in the comments mostly all agreed with his son. That character is a jerk. A lot of them said it was such an old trope. A few people claimed that most readers are between 18-30, and they didn’t like that sort of character: the husband who complained about his wife. A few of them compared him to Al Bundy, and some people even compared Al Bundy to Archie Bunker. At least the two characters shared the same initials. I used to love Married…With Children. It was one of my favorite sitcoms of all time. After all that negative feedback, I wondered what the writer could do with that character if he couldn’t complain about his wife.

I stopped reading that post. The dentist said my mouth looked pretty good before she told me everything that was wrong about it, and it was a listful. Most of it was dental terminology that only her staff would understand. But I found out I suffered from bruxism and would need to wear a mouth guard when I go to sleep. I have never worn a mouth guard. I’ll probably drool a lot.

They fitted me for it with a soft plaster. I bit down on it to form the mold. They said I would have to come in to pick it up next week. I also have to switch what kinds of toothpaste and stop brushing so hard. I had been using Colgate all those years but had to switch to Crest. The dentist had told me which Crest toothpaste to use, but I forgot what it was right after she’d told me. I left the office without a clue about which one to buy. Another doctor’s visit without any resolution.