Tag Archives: observations

Unique Observations

I saw a black t-shirt this morning with a message in old English font that said, Assholes Live Forever. Where did she buy that shirt? And is it true? The assholes do live long if you were to ask me.

I sit in torment over tomorrow. Work will start again, and I still haven’t heard from the doctor about my hand. I have to keep calling him until he sets an appointment. My job is making me work on commission. They pay me only fifty-five percent of my salary once a month, and then the total of my salary plus the commission is on the next payslip. It’s not enough to get by.

My right leg still itches with some sort of sore on my calf. I hope it isn’t from a bed bug. The last thing I need is another infestation. I’ve been through that hell enough times already and now isn’t the right time. The right time is never.

But anyway, I’m facing a wall right now and can see the rest of the shop through the glass reflection of a picture frame. My head is full of residue. I don’t feel motivated and haven’t felt motivated for quite some weeks. I’ll have to practice patience until the motivation sparks. I vegetated all of yesterday, but today I’ll get exercise. I was using the elliptical machine the other day along with the stair stepper for almost an hour. I burned a lot of calories, and I counted them with my watch. It’s the only way to know if I’ve made any progress. I don’t feel like going to the gym after I’ve just joined, but maybe my motivation will change.

There’s a woman wearing a cowboy hat high on top of her head, with most of her blonde hair showing on top. And then she left with her man.

It’s cold in here. I wish they would turn down the AC. They always turn this place into a freezer. I’m the only one here. There are people sitting outside on the patio, but I don’t want to be near those folks. I’m doing just fine where I am.

Someone posted on my blog yesterday that I should subscribe to theirs. I didn’t, and I didn’t understand why they would post such a comment. It was something I didn’t approve of either. I’m not subscribing to someone’s blog just because of what they told me to do. As it were, they didn’t subscribe to mine, so I didn’t see the point.

I’m lost for words. It wasn’t this difficult a month ago. Now writer’s block has put me in handcuffs. I belong to a Facebook group about writers helping other writers. It’s mostly bitter people bashing other bitter people about their writing. But once in a while, someone will post that they’re a new writer who’s facing writer’s block. They can’t think of any new ideas, so they’re seeking advice from someone who might know the answers. The answer is that it’s everyone’s plight. No one is immune to this illness. We get trapped in it because of life’s difficulties. And that’s my answer: that everyone has to deal with the same shit no matter how experienced they are. It’s about continuing writing, even if it’s bullshit. In some ways, that’s the beauty if that’s the way you’re looking. But so many of us stop where we are and wait for our thoughts to come rather than keep our hands moving with time. And then the thoughts emerge as best as they can. I often stop where I am but that’s not good. Anyway, what’s the use? This will go down as another wasted post in a long line of others. I sit and wonder why I’m doing this.

People at the Shop.

The same old customers come into the store each morning. I see the red-bearded man with a bald head and tribal earrings in his earlobes as he sits in his wheelchair, talking with the other old men at a long oval table. He’s tatted from his neck on down to his shins. A lot of older men have tattoos these days. And I always used to wonder how people would age with ink all over themselves.

There’s the man who looks Italian with slicked hair and a gold Rolex type of watch who always sits at the end with those men. He bridges his fingers a lot and gesticulates. He seems to be the talker among their tribe.

And then of course, the old lady with her dog. She dresses extravagantly each morning when she steps inside the coffee shop. I’ve never bothered to ask her what she’s drinking, not that it matters too much. She wears huge designer sunglasses, so huge that they cover half of her forehead. She always wears expensive knitted sweaters and cloth pants, always with a smile.

The same woman comes in every day to talk to her, with the red hair, always with a smile too.

I know the baristas’ faces by now, but not their names. They’re all fast-paced, busy beavers with the customers’ drinks. They all smile even when they’re not helping anyone.

I see the nice Chinese man.

I see the older man, who looks like the district manager.

I see a younger man with a mustache who’s new to me. Where did he come from?

And where’s the exotic barista this morning? The one who wears the big glasses, who looks Pacific.

Most of them know me by name by now since I come here every morning. It’s a refuge from the isolation of home.

A lady in a motorized wheelchair has just rolled in. She wears a surgeon’s mask, a flower hat, and Crocs. She’s talking to a homeless man who can’t stand or sit still. I see him every day, too. He has some sort of disease. I don’t know what it is. I smile at him and say hello. He wears a lot of different clothes, and it makes me wonder where he got them from.

You need a code to use the restroom. Most days it’s one two three four. But they change it up.

I order the same things every day: a cold brew and a cheese Danish. And I sit here for hours and observe people. Most of them are so friendly. The town is friendly. They open doors for each other. It isn’t like it was in Los Angeles.

The baristas give free coffee to the homeless man.

The woman in the motorized wheelchair has her drink, and she and the homeless man continue talking.

I don’t know where I would be without this place. Probably somewhere, walking aimlessly, as I need to stay active to let my anxieties abate. I feel safe in here. I leave my laptop at my table to take a break outside and not worry a thing about it. People don’t steal here. It’s almost a utopia.

I hear them call out names for the people whose drinks are ready.

Where did the lady in the wheelchair go? She’d disappeared while I was deep in thought.

More dogs have entered the shop. They play with each other. The old lady with the big sunglasses holds her white dog by its purple leash. I don’t know its breed, nor do I know any of their breeds. Random people, such as the Italian man, pet the dogs as they come by. I don’t pet the dogs. I feel like I’m not permitted to. They don’t belong to me. It’s like if someone parks a motorcycle and I hop on and squeeze the handles. Maybe it’s a little different. The old lady’s dog has sniffed my deck shoes before, and I don’t mind one bit. She would pull the dog away like it was bothering me, but not at all. I welcome any dog. I welcome anyone in here, my home away from home.